Recipes for Living The Pate Family

Jeff, Linda, Scott, and Sarah Pate moved to Osceola in October, 1998, from Austin, Minnesota. When Jeff received the job promotion to superintendent at Osceola Foods, it was a good news/bad news situation. The word came on Scott's first day of kindergarten and Sarah's first day of pre-school. They attended the United Methodist Church and Jeff and Linda had made plans to take the Disciple Bible Study and begin team-teaching a Sunday School class. However, the word came on Thursday before Labor Day and the following Tuesday Jeff reported for his new job in Osceola.

The loss to Austin is gain to the Osceola community and United Methodist Church here because they bring with them exemplary standards and values. In the Pate family the children are of utmost importance. Jeff and Linda have chosen that Linda be a stay-at-home mom who is Room Mother and a frequent visitor in the children's classrooms. "Another pay check would be nice but we can do without it."

Linda does, however, sell Mary Kay Cosmetics, which began with her personal use. She became more involved when she learned the company's policies, including the fact that there is no pressure regarding sales. It would have been totally different if she had been required to conduct classes - the very thought of that terrified her. But consultants are allowed the choice of being casual about it or making it a full-time career. She has chosen the former.

Linda also appreciates the company's priorities: In life, God first, family second, career third. This precisely reflects her own order of priorities. She laughs when she remembers receiving her "showcase" of products. Sarah helped her unpack it and was so excited! Linda asked her if she was going to be a beauty consultant when she grew up, and Sarah answered, "YES! So I can help other women look pretty, too." That "too" had a profound effect on Linda! It represented a call to the duty that she must be a role model for her children. What she does, her children will do, "too."

Jeff and Linda realize that originally they also found it hard to move to Minnesota. Both of them were born and grew up in Iowa. Jeff was born in Burlington to Howard and Georgia Pate who farmed until this year, 2000. He has one brother, Doug, who lives in Illinois and is a trouble shooter for a power plant.

Jeff received his schooling in Mediapolis and was in high school when the girls' basketball team was the reigning champions in Iowa. His college education was in Burlington, where he earned a two-year Ag degree. He went on to complete a B.S. degree at Northeast Missouri State (now named Truman State) at Kirksville, Missouri. Jeff started working for Hormel Meat Company in Ottumwa in 1985. When they closed that plant, Jeff was one of few who transferred to Austin. That was during their strike in 1986.

Linda was born in Grinnell on August 31, 1959, to Cecil and Anita Fahrni. She has an older sister, Nancy, a younger sister, Diane, and a younger brother, Roger. Their father farmed, but not for himself. In fact, Linda thinks of their family as having been very poor. The children were eligible for free lunches at school, and were the recipients of clothes from other people. Linda remembers that in fourth grade she had her first brand new dress. She can describe it to this day -light blue, short sleeves, with a little fringe in the front. Linda does not consider their financial situation to have been a detriment, but rather that it helped her set priorities and values.

The family moved quite often in the first years of Linda's life. Nancy and Linda went to school at Laurel and Gilman in first grade, but she had most of her education in the consolidated system called SEMCO (Southeast Marshall County), from which she graduated in 1978. She went on to Marshalltown Community College for two years, taking general courses; and went for one semester to the University of Northern Iowa in 1980. From there she took a job with DeLong's Sportswear making high school letter-jackets. She put the linings in 60-70 jackets a day.

"Those were such hard years because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Mom wanted me take business courses. She thought, as did others of that time, that a girl graduated, got a job, and got married. Period. I wanted something more than that, but I didn't know what. I went back to school in Kirkwood Community College in Cedar Rapids in 1983, and took horticulture. I ended with two two-year degrees, one in horticulture and one in social studies."

Her life took a new direction because of horticulture. In the course of finding jobs, a group went to Louisville to horticulture meetings and classes, during which employers interviewed the students. Linda met Scott Moon from Sargent's Landscape Nursery in Minnesota. "I was offered a job but I didn't seriously consider it. There was no way I was going to live in Minnesota!" She and Jeff later discovered that the same thing happened to him. They both applied for jobs without giving serious consideration to taking them and ended up doing just that. Linda moved to Rochester, Minnesota, in the spring of 1985, Jeff moved to Austin in March 1986; and they met in a unique way in September 1988.

Linda took the initiative of placing an ad in the personal column of a newspaper. She doesn't recall precisely what it said but in it she expressed her belief in the institution of marriage and that within every successful marriage are two best friends. Thirty men responded! It was like opening the flood gates! Hordes and hordes of letters came in! Every day she and her roommate went into hysterics over a new batch of mail.

Jeff was one who responded and his letter didn't impress her. He had indicated that he was shy and she didn't see how two shy people would have much to talk about. At that time, Linda and her friend, Joyce, had begun going to a hospital to visit Paul, a mentally and physically handicapped young man. One day Paul's mom was there. Linda had taken the letters and when Paul's mom read them, out of all the letters she chose Jeff’s. She was particularly impressed that he said he was a good listener.

Linda contacted him and they made plans to have dinner. She anticipated that it would be a brief meeting. They would probably eat and go home, but they started talking and talked and talked. She didn't get home until after midnight. They set another date and then another and everything just clicked. They were married on November 3, 1990.

That date became significant. On the first anniversary they planned to be out of town, but they were prevented by a severe ice storm that took down trees and power lines. On the second anniversary they attended their first baby-birthing class. On the fourth they brought Sarah home from the hospital - she had been born on Nov. 1. Although it was delayed a week, on their eighth anniversary Linda was scheduled to begin the Walk to Emmaus.

Scott was born December 20, 1992. In the early years, anyone who was around him more than five minutes knew he loved trains. He got hooked on Thomas the Tank Engine on PBS, and it was like he had a one-track mind. Anything that had to do with trains had his attention. When he was about two-years-old, every time they crossed railroad tracks he would say, "Train tracks!" When they went to a park, he pretended every piece of equipment was a train. One day he saw a picket fence lying on the ground and exclaimed, "Train tracks!" The first time he heard a train go through Osceola he was as excited as though they had won the lottery and every time he heard a train, he ran to a window. As a seven year old, he loves baseball and Hot Wheels as well as trains.

"Scott is very observant. He notices everything! If he goes through the kitchen while I am cooking, he wants to know what it is. If we go to McDonald's and I don't happen to have money for all of us, I go without and he always comments about my not having something.

"In many ways he has always seemed older than his years and more comfortable with adults than with children. We have discovered that he has an unusual sense of responsibility, and when he has a job to do, he will stay with it until it is done, whether it is an assignment to pull out staples when we ripped up the carpet in our house, or helping Grandpa Pate combine beans. He has little patience with taking breaks in the middle of jobs as was the case when Nancy and I were scraping a baby crib and had an idea of stopping for awhile. Of course, he has more energy than adults but he is never ready to quit.

"In Austin we had a wonderful next-door neighbor whom the children called Grandma Wambeam. The summer that Jeff and I painted her house, Scott chose to paint with us. He stayed at it all day long. This year when the church asked for volunteers to water the flower beds, Scott wanted to volunteer for one week, and followed through. When there was a work day at church, Scott and Sarah went along and raked and picked up sticks until the job was done.

"Scott has a high regard for work! When I eventually try to throw away papers he has brought home from school, he reminds me that a lot of hard work that went into those. But he also loves to play. He will be in 2nd grade in the fall of 2000 and I would have said that what he likes best about school would be recess. But when I asked, he said he liked best when I came to visit. It makes me feel guilty that I didn't go more often.

"Sarah was born on November 1, 1994. We took Scott trick-or-treating the night before and my labor started at 1:00 the next morning. When I called the hospital they said I had better come in, but remembering the long labor with Scott, I didn't think there was any hurry to get there. Sarah was quicker. It's a wonder she wasn't born in the car. We got to the hospital at 4:30 and she was born at 5:30. There wasn't time for an epidural so she was born 100% naturally.

"Sarah is our easy-going child with a wonderful sense of humor, which most people don't know because she is so shy. I haven't been able to be angry with her for more than a second and then she laughs and I realize that what happened was no big deal. No lives were lost. Nothing critical had taken place. Grandma Wambeam thought neither Sarah nor Scott could do any wrong and leaving her was another reason it was hard to move, but we have seen her often since then."

Linda speaks enthusiastically about her spiritual life. When she was in school the family attended the United Brethren Church which then merged with the Methodist Church in Laurel. She credits her high school Sunday school teacher with being responsible for her faith. Those who teach young people can take note that what Linda remembers about this teacher, Beverly DeWitt, were not facts or specifics that she taught. In fact, Linda says, "I can't put my finger on why I regard her as I do. I know that she always listened, and when I didn't have a date for the junior high prom, she hugged me. That was the first time I had ever been hugged. We didn't do that in our home. But Beverly was special and our friendship was intimate. At Dad's funeral on February 12, 1999, I had a chance to talk to her. She was Christ to me. Dad died at the Veteran's Home in Marshalltown, where he and Mom were both living. She is still there.

"One of the things I was eager to talk to Beverly about was my Walk to Emmaus. In fact, I look for opportunities to tell everyone about that experience. Jeff had gone in March 1998; but I refused at that time. I thought it was a cult of some kind because everyone said it was wonderful but no one would tell me what was so wonderful about it. However, when Jeff came back I saw changes in him and I decided that I would go. I received the acceptance of my application on Tuesday; on Thursday the kids started to school, and that was the week we found out we were to move.

There are almost no words to express what Emmaus meant to us and to our marriage. In addition to what the experience is designed to be, for me it came at a critical time. After Sarah was born I went through a terrible period of depression. Postpartum depression ('baby blues') is rather common and understandable, I suppose'. When we realize that a whole new human being is made from elements in the mother's body, it can be expected that women may feel depleted.

"I know that my mood was also affected by the death of my brother-in-law, Russ, on July 5, 1997. He died of a massive heart attack, before my sister turned 40 on July 20. Seeing what my sister was going through assuming total responsibility for her two children, I didn't think I could do that and I laid in bed night after night praying that I could die before Jeff. I wasn't suicidal but I really wanted to die. I wasn’t able to sleep. I would fall asleep when I went to bed but wake up about 1:00 and spend hours watching TV, cutting out dresses for Sarah, or doing whatever I could find to do. Finally I would go back to bed about 5:00 and then get up worn out at 6:00.

"During that time, Jeff could do nothing right. We fought all the time and I had thoughts of leaving him. We continued to attend church but Sunday after Sunday we weren't speaking by the time we got there. We had big arguments - always over stupid stuff - and then we would talk afterward and remind each other that we had vowed in our wedding ceremony that we would see each other through good times and bad, for better or worse, in sickness and health.

"In sickness was exactly right. It is only now that depression is being recognized for what it is. Our pastor, Becky Jo Thilges, told me, 'This is not a personality defect. It is not something the person who has it can control-no good in saying, 'Snap out of it' - it is a disease.' My depression went on until February 1998, when I decided there had to be something wrong with me and I saw the doctor. He said, 'You sound like someone who is going through depression' and put me on Zoloft, which I still take today. I talked to a friend, particularly about going to church angry, and she identified completely. She said she supposed she was the only one that went through that. Somehow it helps to know that others go through the same thing.

"Jeff’s experience with the Walk to Emmaus completed the healing. I fell in love with him again. The Walk goes back to Luke 24, when two disciples were walking to Emmaus from Jerusalem and the resurrected Jesus joined them. This is a spiritual walk. Those who attend are reminded that we give and give and give to family, spouse, the church and others. The Emmaus walk is a weekend to receive, to fill your cup."

Linda tells of being terrified when she first went, but she was met by a lady who became an instant friend, who showed her to her room and made her feel at ease. From Thursday night through Sunday morning Linda was with Christian believers, and declares it to have been the most wonderful experience of her life. "I wouldn't be teaching Sunday School or doing what I do in UMW if it weren’t for that. During that week I learned to rely on God to speak through me and he does!"

When the editor of the stories asked to write Linda’s life story, her reply was that she hasn’t finished it yet; but readers will gain greatly from what she has shared.

Scott

Like my mom said, I really like trains. My favorite show when I was about two years old was Thomas the Train on "Shining Time Station". "Shining Time Station" was a program that had stories and lessons. I had a friend named Corey and the two of us liked to watch it together. Mr. Conductor would come on the screen and talk, and then he would say something reminded him of a story and he would tell it. It always told us something important like how to get along with our friends. I liked to go to a toy store that had trains and tracks, and I have a whole box full of these things. I was really sad when the store closed and when they took "Shining Time Station" off the air.

I can remember when I was two years old; our family went to Boone and rode the train. We also went to Dyersville to see the Field of Dreams, and Dad and Mom and I ran the bases. Mom carried Sarah because she still wasn't a year old. I have seen the movie Field of Dreams about a hundred times.

When I was five years old my uncle died and we flew out to Colorado for his funeral. The main thing I remember is that I sat in the middle. We went into the mountains, which are like an upside down V with snow on the top. We rode in a van and it broke down and a tow truck had to come. I got to ride in the tow truck. Two months later we went on AMTRAK to see Aunt Diane's new baby. I was afraid when the train came in. Mom had to take me by the hand, but it got to be fun. The most fun was opening the doors between the cars. That was really noisy. Then you could push a black rectangle thing and the other door would open and you could go into the next car.

When I was five years old, two months before I turned six, we moved to Osceola. I remember we had a moving man named Sonny that I really liked. It was sad to move away from Corey, but I have found some friends in Osceola. There are Kasy and Josh at school. Josh and I will be playing peewee ball this summer. I will be on the Cubs team. Don May is our coach and we will be playing once a week. I am in Cub Scouts- the bobcats- and my Dad will be the Scout Leader.

Sarah and I will go to Grandpa and Grandma Pate's this summer while Mom and Dad go to Dallas, Texas, for a Mary Kay Seminar. I will get to ride the tractor to the mail box. We have to do that because the lane is about a mile long.

I have a Hot Wheels CD that I like. First you pick a track and pick a car and then you race. You also can pick a track and drive on it. And also you can beat the clock and then you get a new car. There is also Frogger. There are a bunch of courses, and you make the frog jump. There is a whole bunch of danger for the frog. Sometimes he is in traffic, and sometimes he has to hop over floating logs. There’s a word that says "race" and you click on that and race against somebody that is playing with you. The computer brain keeps track of your points.

Next year I will be in second grade and that means I will get to ride the bus and I’ll learn to read and spell better, and I'll be growing up.

Sarah

Today is a special day because my first tooth came out and tonight I will put it under my pillow and tomorrow morning I think there will be one dollar there. I will put it in the bank in my savings account. I have a lot of money in there because people give me money for my birthdays and Christmas. Last summer Mommy and I had a garage sale and I sold some of my toys. We put that money in the bank. I like to go to the bank because they give me Tootsie Rolls.

I was in preschool in Kiddie Karousel last year and my friends were Travis, Ashli, Mallory, and Darian. Our teacher was Mrs. Black. I liked her. Next year I will be in kindergarten and I will ride the school bus with Scott. That will be fun.